Yes, going back to drinking after 3 years of sobriety definetly felt different than before.

During my 3 years of sobriety I went to AA consistently, admitted myself into in-patient rehab for 30 days and lived in a sober living community. Not drinking had been drilled into me from every angle.

Guilt was the first thing I felt. I sponsored a lot of people and councelled as well during those 3 years. So I felt like I was letting a lot of people down. Not to mention my friends and family who witnessed my progression from chronic alcoholic to the man I became.

There was also this sense of failure. Like it was all for nothing. But that's not true. When I decided to stop drinking again I was able to use what I learned throughout those 3 years to make things easier.

I also have a network of ex-addicts/alcoholics that I was able to reach out to. They understand what I'm going through and tried to assure me that I'm not starting completely over. Which is something that friends and family might not understand if you relapse.